Bibliofiles: The Lovely Bones; #dreadful

The Lovely Bones
by Alice Sebold
Fiction / Terrible Muck
368 Pages

So I found this book at Salvation Army for $0.50. I knew one of my dear friends had read it and raved about it. I also knew that when I was younger, this book was on the best sellers list, and critics were giving it outstanding reviews. After reading roughly one hundred pages, my response is, "What the HECK were you thinking, America?!"

Before I begin (in case you don't know this), this is not a YA novel. If it were in Barnes & Noble, it would be in the "adult fiction" section. I don't think anyone under the age of fourteen should read this. You should further note, I couldn't bring myself to finish the thing, so this review is incomplete.

Now, back to my review. This book is about a girl named Susie Salmon. She's in junior high. She just got her first kiss. She has plans to take the high school world by storm. And then, she is murdered by her disgusting neighbor, who just so happens to be a serial killer, Mr. Harvey. Well... looks like Susie won't be ruling the high school corridors, after all.

After her death, we see Susie in heaven. This isn't the heaven with pearly gates and gold-gilded floors; quite the contrary, this heaven is tailored to Susie's needs, specifically. So, there's a school, but there are no teachers. She only takes the classes she likes. She can set the hallways ablaze (literally), and not get in trouble. Apparently, the definition of heaven is the ultimate freedom to be an idiot without consequences; but I digress. Anyway, from her heaven, Susie can see the lives of those whose lives she touched with her untimely death. Her feelings as a "ghost" affect her family members--her dad especially. Susie's death seems to drive a divisive wedge between her family members as they all deal with their grief in different ways.

Really, this book wouldn't have been so bad if the writing were decent--but Sebold really uses some odd word choice in describing her characters and setting. For example, when speaking of a teenage girl who has a crush, Sebold writes, "Her heart, like an ingredient in a recipe, was reduced." Or later on, Sebold describes someone's eyes to look like "ferocious olives." Um, excuse me, but how can an olive be "ferocious."

Oh, and here's my favorite. When Susie describes her first kiss, Sebold writes it was "like an accident--a beautiful gasoline rainbow." I later realized she was talking about the psychedelic colors gasoline makes when in a water puddle; but seeing "accident" and "gasoline rainbow" made me imagine a massive car wreck scene with excessive pyrotechnics--and then I associated that image with something like a kiss... just too funny.

Combine some terrible, laugh-out-loud worthy descriptions with jumbled structured (an attempt to reflect Susie's state in limbo, no doubt) and a very slow to move plot (I wouldn't even call it a plot--just a large collection of descriptions); stir over medium-high and reduce. The result? A book I couldn't finish. And given that I'm usually of the mind that once I start a book, I have to finish, it says a lot that I deemed this one unworthy of my time.

In conclusion, what were you thinking, America?

More Linocut Tips

As you know from this post yesterday, I was very excited about getting finished carving my "world peas" block. So, I skipped the part where I analyze every last detail of my piece before carving, and just went for it. Ironically, I was thinking to myself how good I'd gotten at drawing everything I want backwards.

Then, I inked up the brayer and then my block and using a mason jar as a baron (another helpful, cost cutting trick), I transferred my print. I pulled the kozo paper off the block, admired my work for a little, and then to my horror, I realized I'd made a mistake!

I had made the "a's" backwards!

I considered making a new block, but then decided against it. After all, that would be a waste of a block I could use for something else. So, I set out to fix it in the best way I could and ended up with this:

It's not perfect, but I dare say, it'll do.

The lesson here? Well, normally, when I finish my sketch on the block, I hold it up to a mirror to make sure everything is satisfactory--especially my lettering. I was in a hurry, so I didn't do that. I suppose the lesson is twofold. Don't rush, and always check your block in the mirror before you carve. 

Also, like I said last time, warm up the lino with an iron. It makes it loads easier to carve.

Well, to all you carvers out there, best of luck to you. I'm still a beginning printer and I make lots of mistakes. I'm happy to say that so far, I've managed to squeeze a learning experience out of all of them. 

If you think you would be interested in buying one of these prints, let me know. I'm trying to feel the climate on opening an Etsy adventure.

Current Project

Here is what I've been working on for the past day or two. I came up with this concept a while ago (like my junior year...). It says "visualize world peas." Cute, huh?

And as I've been working on it, I've discovered a nifty trick for linocutting! As you can see, I have to cut away a LOT of extra lino for this block. To make it easier to cut away, I've been placing an iron on the portion I'm working on for around 30 seconds. It makes cutting away the linoleum feel like you are cutting away butter. If you try this, put your iron at a low setting. For example, my iron has 7 levels, and I have it at 3 to warm up the linoleum. The trick is, get it warm... not hot.

Anyway, I'll be sure to keep you posted! I should be pulling my first proofs by tomorrow--or maybe even tonight if I can find the time!

Doodles: Peacock

It's been a while since I shared my doodles with you all. That's mostly because I haven't been drawing much. I don't know why... I've just been in kind of a creative slump. It happens from time to time, even to the best of us (or in my case, the average of us).

Inspired by my recent henna tattoo work (I'll show you that in a future post) and maybe even Kung Fu Panda 2, I decided to draw a peacock. I really love the cool colors--it's simply a serene combination.

I colored it using watercolor pencils. I was going to use regular watercolors, but I figured the more control I had over the colors, the better the overall piece would turn out.

Hopefully this summer I'll be drawing and creating more often. During the school year, I felt like I never had any time to do creative things. Now that school is out, I'm going to try to get back into the swing of things.

Happy Wednesday!

The Good & Not as Good

• I got accepted to the Ben Franklin Scholars program at Penn!
• My snap peas are growing. 
• I finished making more "Gee Thanks" cards for the lovelies who wished me well for graduation. (If you missed that post, see here). I'm thinking about starting an Etsy venture... What do you think?
• I rescued my dog from a near drowning experience! (He ran off the end of a dock on accident... he's kind of dumb).

• I have summer homework from the Ben Franklin Scholars program... ick.
• Still no job... although I have mixed feelings about it. Not going to lie. I kind of like being lazy.
• I got the Krazy Glue tube glued to the table yesterday. Pretty much the most epic of epic fails. My dad had to chip off the puddle of dried glue with a chisel last night. He wasn't happy. (Sorry, dad!)
• I think I'm allergic to fuji apples... NOOOOOOOOO! (They're my favorite).